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No B.S. Beauty Review: Hard Candy

No B.S. Beauty Review: Hard Candy

Introducing our new beauty column, in which we enlist girls to share their (entirely candid and 100% not #sponcon) reviews on rad products—and whether they work in real life. Kicking off the series is 18-year-old Alyson Zetta Williams, who told us how Hard Candy’s new collection is helping her survive those awk holiday family dinners.

The newest stuff from '90s cult classic beauty brand Hard Candy couldn’t have come at a better time—when all reluctant and/or vegetarian teens are searching for new and creative ways to escape their captive situation during this year’s holidaze. In my humble opinion, what better way to do so than dirty the dishware with your obnoxiously matte gray lipstick or get the grandparents worried about you with an intense smoky eye?

Allow the glittery grime of Hard Candy’s holiday line to be the exclamation point at the end of your *internal screams.*

For all the times you realllyyy want to say something but just...can’t, Metallic Mousse is here to communicate all emo-edged quips. So, even if it isn’t out in the open, everyone is aware that there is something spicy behind that mystery-coated mouth.

This season’s eye palette is encased in a pink plush covering—great for keeping up demure appearances. Steal away to the bathroom to reapply, and you have another story. The palette encompasses a variety of shimmery darks and lights—very Kris Jenner smokey eye—but doesn’t seem to have much of a medium shade. Throw moderation to the wind and conjure up your best mental image of the Momager. Apply. Repeat.

A strong core to a fighter is what this primer is to your lip game: the key to complete domination. Refuse defeat in the form of lipstick weakness by allowing the formula (glossy or creamy) to coat your bare mouth before applying your Metallic Mousse. The formula is sticky enough to keep your lipstick in place...so that you can keep everyone else in theirs.

The Blooming Lip Oil’s texture is a bit on the stickier side—think Liquid Lip Smackers—but that nostalgic quality could come to your advantage when trying to appeal to your family’s youth or appear as a youth (ex: when asking Uncle George for a loan to self-publish your coffee table poem anthology). Leaving lightly tinted tracks on lips, Blooming Lip Oil comes in pink and orange (although a purple would be a great addition for those of us who frequent the common intersection of Laura Palmer wannabes and Hard Candy luvrs).

Love both words and makeup like Alyson? (Same.) Want to write words about makeup? Join our ambassador program!

By Alyson Zetta Williams, 18

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