Why Do Crushes Give Me Such Anxiety?
I get freaked out and anxious when I get the feeling that a guy likes me. Am I the only one? What can I possibly do about this?
First of all, no. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. And although that doesn’t solve your problem, hopefully it’s a tiny bit comforting to know that other people (as in, like, every person ever) have gone through the same thing. In fact, the dude that likes you is probably freaked out and anxious, too.
It’s sort of funny how everything can seem totally normal with a guy (or a girl), and then the minute you realize that, “waaait, hold up, do they maybe have romantic feelings for me?” things suddenly get weird. It’s easy to overthink every single move you make and thing you say—how can you not?!—but that anxious energy is pointless.
We’re not gonna tell you to stay calm and play it cool, because that’s pretty impossible when it feels hard to breathe and act like a real human being every time they make eye contact. But try your best not to spend too much time worrying; on the most basic level, they probably just want to get to know you better.
If you don’t think you like him like that, just act normal. And if you do think you like him like that...well, act normal. If you can’t act normal, act the closest to normal that you can possibly muster.
Keep in mind that sometimes guys just flirt. Not because they’re jerks, or leading you on, or trying to break your heart (although sometimes those things are true!). More likely, it's just because flirting is fun. If you have a gut feeling that a guy likes you, he probably does, because you’re awesome. Just remember that guys (and girls! and non-binary people!) are complex and multilayered and fickle and sometimes they have no idea what they want.
Chances are, you’ll continue to get a little freaked out when you think someone likes you, at least for awhile. But as time goes on, this anxiety will lessen; it’ll probably morph into butterflies (the good kind!). For now, do your thing. Embrace the anxiety, feel the awkwardness fully, and get used to it. This experience is going to repeat itself over and over for the rest of your life.
Need advice? Hit reply on this email and ask us anything (really, anything!).