How to Write About Feminists, Brilliantly Explained by a 15-year-old
When you write about feminists, make sure they are angry. Paint a scowl on their faces and make their voices high pitched and squeaky. Describe how, whenever they leaf through magazines or scroll through social media, they're sure to broadcast the apparent inequalities in whatever it is they are reading. Use this as a segue into their loud protests, explaining how they march in the street, wearing political buttons and carrying picket signs.
Once you’ve established the basics with your reader, move into the deeper stuff. Reveal how most feminists believe that pink is a stereotype, and refuse to wear warm colors or flowers or hearts or anything remotely “girly.” Talk about their characteristically short hair, and then discuss how they think that bras and shaving razors were ploys on behalf of the patriarchy to make money. Obviously, shaving is a foreign concept, so they mostly wear baggy jeans and oversized shirts to hide their hairy legs and armpits. These feminists are instant party-killers, because they don’t believe in dresses or makeup or perfume. They roll their eyes at women who wear heels.
When you write about feminists, write about how they’re banded together like an army of females, and nothing you do or say will make them cross one another. They all agree on absolutely everything, and give nothing but love and support to one another as they tear down walls. Whenever something goes wrong in their story, be sure to immediately blame the patriarchy. Then, explain how feminists hate all men, and will go out of their way to avoid them. If a male character in your story were to call himself a feminist, make sure your female characters ostracize him and share how only women can be feminists. Of course, you have to reveal how the *real* point of feminism is to make women superior to men.
Did the words above sound crazy to you? Good—they were supposed to. “Feminism” is an umbrella word that encapsulates a wide range of women AND men from diverse backgrounds. Intersectional feminism takes into account that not everyone is a white, middle-class woman; it’s important to remember how factors like race, class, sexuality, and ability come into play. Feminism shouldn’t be just one thing.
Just like all people are different, all feminists are different, too. There are nice feminists and there are not-so-nice feminists. And they won’t all agree on everything. While feminism is commonly defined as the fight for equality in the way women and men are treated in society, we all have very different ideas on how to accomplish this. And it is perfectly OK to disagree. Some feminists might have stronger opinions than others, but this doesn’t mean they are better feminists.
Feminism isn’t a battle, but it also isn’t a tea party. Just because you identify as a “feminist” does not mean you belong in a box of stereotypes. Maybe you protest your views on the streets; maybe you don’t. Maybe you have a pixie cut, or maybe you have long, blonde curls. You can shave your legs until they are shiny and smooth, or you can let your hair grow free. Either way, it doesn’t matter. You get to decide what a feminist looks and acts like.
By Julia Tilton, 15